Jeremy Godwin

Get Your As In Gear

jeremy — Sat, 18 Feb 2012 01:46:01 +0000

There is no getting around it, love is complicated! Many people spend a lifetime spinning their wheels trying to figure it out, and some even try through multiple relationships and marriages only to be left with the same sense of hopelessness. There are more definitions, descriptions, and analogies to try to explain a healthy and loving relationship, yet most still never catch the beauty of it. So many try to move forward, only to find themselves rolling backwards. What they need is to get there ‘as’ in gear to make this whole relationship thing work.

I have heard people say that the key to a great marriage is for wives to submit to their husbands and husbands to love their wives. The problem with that is there is way too much room for interpretation. There are women all over the world who find themselves in abusive relationships with a so-called banner of submission waiving over them while there are men who truly feel that ‘loving’ their wives is simply providing for their needs. Could there be more to it than that? You betcha! If you want to have a great, God centered, relationship then it’s time to push the ‘as’ into gear and gain the traction needed to move forward.

Ephesians 5:

vs 22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, AS to the Lord. (period)

vs 25 Husbands, love your wives, AS Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her. (period)

Do you see it? The word ‘as’ is the qualifier, standard, focus, and goal to make the first part work the way it is intended too. For many, that is a new revelation, and for the majority it’s one of those, ‘easier said than done’ type of statements. The truth is, this kind of love grows as we grow. It grows as we mature, as both individuals and followers of Christ. The key of comparison is first learning what you are comparing yourself too. Christ.

How does Christ love the church and me? Well, I can say from experience that Jesus has done a lot more than just simply provide or listen when I feel a little chatty. He has shown Himself to be patient, persistent, forgiving, and intimate. Both selfless and selfish at the same time. Selfless in His grace, yet selfish in His desire for me. He pursues me, draws me out of my shell, helps me clean out the skeletons in my closet, patiently helps me unpack my baggage, and empowers me to be the man He has created me to be. What if men loved their wives with that kind of love?!

How do we submit ourselves as unto God? Maybe you see God in such a way that He has become distorted due to some sort of a past experience, but the truth is the kind of submission He is talking about in vs 22 is beautiful when understood. The difference between submission and abuse is that abuse is someone forcing themselves over another, and submission is stepping under a covering by choice. When I married my wife, she was a stubborn and hardheaded woman who truly felt that submission was an old school concept for days gone by. She tells young women now that God has opened her eyes and heart and that she has learned a few things. First, is that it is easy to submit to a man who loves you as Christ loves the church, Second, there is freedom in knowing that God gave you a husband to be your covering and that he carries the weight of that which deserves respect. And lastly, that when it is hard to feel like submitting, choose to anyway.

*A note for the guys. Submission doesn’t mean your wife doesn’t have a voice! When my wife and I have to make a decision, we discuss it, but when it’s all said and done I have to make the decision that one day I will stand before God to give an account for.

If the tires are spinning and you feel like your relationship is in a rut, maybe it’s time to stop and evaluate. Is your ‘as’ in gear?

Action Point

1. Ask yourself the hard questions.

Men: Are you loving her as Christ loves you?

Women: Are you submitting as you would unto God?

2. Discuss with your spouse where you feel your are missing the mark.

3. Pray that God will open your eyes and your heart to understand the relationship He wants you to have with Him FIRST, then with your spouse.

Dealing With Loss

jeremy — Mon, 05 Dec 2011 18:03:28 +0000

It was 3:00 pm on this past Sunday afternoon that word finally made it to me after finishing up some marriage counseling. Those words that every person dreads to hear, ‘There has been a death in the family.’ As my wife set on the couch in my office she explained that my former step father, who was part of my life for fifteen years, passed away in a sudden car accident just a few hours earlier.
Dealing with death is such a strange thing that evokes emotions that are difficult to explain. I find it amazing how everyone has experienced the emotions that a death evokes yet we all struggle to communicate it! Over the past 24 hrs my emotions have been a whirlwind of memories, both good and bad, hurts, happiness, and even a little regret.
The word teaches us that there is a season for everything. A season for laughter and a season for crying. A season for life and a season for death. Seasons are great because they don’t last forever. They only last for a season! Living in Michigan, we have for very distinct seasons which is totally different from what I am used to down south. It really has helped me to understand seasons much more. I love summer, but by the end, I am ready for winter. I hate winter and look forward to spring but then tire of it as well. Seasons keep us moving forward. Seasons don’t last forever. Seasons have good parts and bad.
So how do I deal with loss? By recognizing it is simply a season and the hurt with end and be replaced with joy!

Rest In Peace Todd Suddath and our prayers go out to you and your family!

Evaluate & Re-Evaluate

jeremy — Tue, 15 Nov 2011 15:04:11 +0000

Evaluate, Re-Evaluate, then DO IT AGAIN!!!

I’ve recently taken a two week break from blogging to do exactly what I started out with. Evaluate. I’ve spent the past few weeks re-evaluating my schedule and values which have led me on a humbling journey. Typically people view and plan schedules based on pressing needs versus their schedules being a snapshot of the values. Meaning, take a moment and look at your calendar and look where you spend most of your time. If you don’t have a calendar, get one and get one quick. Fail to plan and you plan to fail! Look over the entire calendar and look for specifics. If your calendar just shows, ‘Go to work’ and ‘Go home’, you won’t get an accurate picture.

As for me, I realized that I wasn’t taking care of myself at all and new ventures were getting close to creeping in to strong which will cause something else to leave. Something like family or work, which is NOT an option. So I began by looking at what values had gotten away from me and making a commitment to myself and to God and then creating a schedule that supports those values. There will ALWAYS be things fighting for your attention and it will ALWAYS be easier to yes than no. So it is up to you to manage your schedule before it manages you!

With that said, if you are feeling tired, overwhelmed, or stressed, you might want to check whether you are living out your values or not.

So to make it simple, give this a try:

1. List out the things, in order, as to what is and should be important to you.

(Suggestions: Spiritual, family, work, health, fun, etc)

2. Get a blank calendar and a PENCIL because you will need an eraser.

3. Start by filling in the non-negotiables like set work schedules.

4. Now following your values list, start with the #1 and schedule time for it.

5. Fill in the next values.

6. Leave blank room for stuff that comes up.

7. Stick to it unless it is a major emergency.

Good luck and God Bless!

Overwhelmed Part5

jeremy — Fri, 28 Oct 2011 10:00:15 +0000

We ALL have something really special in common. We all have 24 hours in a day. Some just use their 24 hours more productively than others. I want to end this series of posts on dealing with life when it is overwhelming with some random thoughts:

1. Stop making excuses. People do what they want to do. Life INTENTIONALLY

2. Take care of yourself. You will have more energy to do more when you take care of yourself emotionally, physically, and most importantly, spiritually.

3. Pray. Take your life to God in prayer and ask for wisdom and direction. You might be surprised what He will say when you ask.

4. Stop making excuses. Did I already say that? It’s that important. There is always a reasons, justifications, and excuses. Life beyond them. Depend on God for what He has called and created you to do.

5. Take a deep breath. Enjoy life and the season you are in!

Live life and live it to the fullest.

Overwhelmed Part4

jeremy — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 10:00:55 +0000

So far we have talked about our evaluating our plate and priorities, as well as the seasons of life, but for this post I want to touch on something very tangible. Take a moment and grab or pull up your personal calendar. If your response is, I don’t have one, then that is the first major problem. A calendar serves two incredible purposes.

1. He keeps things organized so you are not just taking things as they come. Those that fail to plan, plan to fail. Your schedule should have everything important on it.

2. A well kept calendar has the ability for you to look at it as a whole so you can see where you are spending most of your time and thus living out your priorities. It can be great for accountability!

I keep my calendar on my computer in a program called iCal (made by apple) which stays synced on all of my digital devices and even on my wife’s phone. We live by our calendar which has everything work related and personal on it. When I was disciplining myself to live by a calendar I would even go as far as putting my wake up time and bed time on it. It forced me to stick to my plan versus life dictating what I was going to do. There are lots of digital as well as print options out there.

Side Note – The resources are available to those who really want to grow in these areas. Hold yourself accountable and start today!

Overwhelmed Part3

jeremy — Wed, 26 Oct 2011 10:00:23 +0000

My family and I are originally from Birmingham, Alabama where we have one season that has some basic temperature changes compared to what we have experienced in Michigan, where we live now, and the four distinct seasons that circulate year around. These changes of seasons have solidified a Biblical principle in my spirit that there is a season for everything. We have already discussed the need to evaluate our plate and our priorities, and in part three of this blog series on dealing with chaos and the overwhelming feelings that life brings we want to look at the value of seasons in our lives.

One of the ways that I deal with the potentially overwhelming schedule in my life is being aware of the season I am currently in and at the same time prepare for the season that is coming. For instance, I am a huge fan of playing golf, however, because of the season I am in, I have committed not to sell the clubs but to put them away while I focus on another thing, aka school. But ONLY for a season! Different seasons bring different schedules and different priorities. During the summer I commit to less things at school and work so I can take a season to focus even more on my children because during that season we are at the parks and spending as much quality time together. However, during that time I am also getting ready for the season that is fast approaching where it will be easier to focus more on studies and work as we go into the winter and no one in their right mind wants to go out side.

The interesting thing about seasons, is their is a beginning and an end. If life is chaotic year around, something has to change and soon. I’m not much of a farmer, but I do know if the farmer tills the ground year around, nothing will grow. Know your seasons past, present, and future.

Overwhelmed Part2

jeremy — Tue, 25 Oct 2011 10:00:03 +0000

Monday began with a post on how to deal with the chaos of life with the first step of pulling back and looking at your plate to see what God has placed on it vs what we have put on our plates. The next step is:

Second, you should evaluate your priorities. I know it sounds simple, but in reality we assume our priorities are already right and thus never take the time to evaluate. You should constantly re-evaluate your priorities and once you do, do it again and again. Once our priorities are out of whack, life gets out of whack, thus the enemy will attack them first. Everyone’s values are different, however your priorities should look pretty similar to other people.

1. God – NOT church, but your PERSONAL relationship with God

2. Spouse – ‘leave your mother and father and cleave to your spouse’.

3. Children – Notice they are after the spouse.

4. Ministry – The things that God has created you to do.

5. Family – Parents, extended family

6. Ourselves – Notice that this is last

You may have different words for your list and that’s ok. So how does your list look?

Overwhelmed Part1

jeremy — Mon, 24 Oct 2011 10:00:39 +0000

Chaos! To Much! Bigger than me! OVERWHELMED!!!! You know what I’m talking about, you’ve felt it, you’ve said it. As of this posting, my life has taken a new step. Today I begin life again as a full time college student, added to being a husband, father, and full time pastor.

Side note: Depending on how you view pastors, you may think, ‘heck they don’t do anything anyways so sure he has time for school.’ My response, ‘ok’.

There is a silly saying that church people like to tell those who are feeling those overwhelming feelings. ‘God will never put more on you than you can handle.’ Could somebody tell me where that comes from, because it is NOT Biblical. God WILL allow you to walk through seasons where you feel overwhelmed because He is pushing you to dependance and reliance on Him. That’s not always easy to swallow, so let me shaw how that looks for me.

I told you a little bit of how my life looks right now but there is something that I do on a regular basis that makes a massive schedule possible and stay balanced through it all.

First, pull back and look at your plate. God will give you strength to carry the things that He places on our plates, but to often we put things on us that have nothing to do with what we are supposed to be doing. I know that it doesn’t sound real spiritual, but sometimes I wonder if God steps back and looks at us like, ‘You goober, why are you even messing with that?’ As a father, I have seen the stubbornness in my sons as I have asked them to do something simple and in their desire to impress their father with their big muscles, they go beyond what I have asked and pushed themselves to an overwhelmed moment where they cry out, DAD! So what is on your plate. Take a moment and list the things that God has put on your plate and on a separate list write out the things that you have put on yourselves because of a desire to please others or even an insecurity in yourself.

Check back tomorrow as I share with you the next step of dealing with chaos and the overwhelming feelings of life.

John Daniels

jeremy — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 10:00:23 +0000

I’m not exactly sure what his title was but it could probably be, ‘Pastor of what-ever needed to be done’. Sounds technical I know! I met Pastor John in youth when he was serving as the right hand to the youth pastor. He was tall, lanky, and a little goofy but he made an impact in major ways. Pastor John taught me two major things. The first being about evangelism and how to share my faith with others. From malls to living rooms, he showed me compassion for others and how to meet that need with the message of Christ. Pastor John also taught me about serving the bigger picture. I never once heard him complain as his job portfolio changed because he recognized what it meant to serve the vision, not his personal vision, but the vision of the church. Most people never get that, but he did.

Thank you Pastor John for showing me how to share my faith and how to be a servant to others!

Who is your Pastor John?

Armand Egnew

jeremy — Thu, 20 Oct 2011 10:00:42 +0000

His office looked a lot like mine does now, a room with an executive desk, books, and a ton of random things used by a multitude of departments. Armand was the Associate Pastor at Cathedral of the Cross, where I grew up. He was the youth pastor at the retreat where I accepted Christ, but became an even more influential part of my life as the years progressed. Cathedral was a mega church of thousands of people which meant there was always a good bit of things happening at any given moment, and Pastor Armand was right there in the middle of all of it. I will never forget the many times I would walk by his open door, which was open most of the time, and popped my head in to a friendly hello. Even more rememberable, were the moments Pastor Armand would let me sit in a corner chair in his office and just watch how he interacted with other staff, decision making, studying, and planning. I learned so much just watching, but what I learned the most came from the prop that kept his door opened. When I began in ministry, I decided to be more like Pastor Armand and to keep my door open as much as possible and a seat available for any passerby’s.

Thank you Pastor Armand for letting a young punk kid sit quietly in your office when honestly you didn’t have time, but you made it for me!

Who is your Pastor Armand?